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Advice For Parents On Coping With Teen Children Dating
Virtually all parents have some worries about the day when their teenage children will start dating and for many parents it marks the point at which a son or daughter is making the transition from childhood to adulthood. In many cases, it is also seen as the point when your children take their first steps to strike out on their own and this is generally taken as a signal that they do not need you any longer. Nothing could be further from the truth. Dating is just another stage on the long path of normal teenage development and they certainly do still need you - and will need you for a long time to come. Nevertheless, this is often a difficult point in a teenager's life and there is a great deal that you can do to make life simpler for both of you. Like most other things, success in dating starts with education and it is crucial for you to get together with your teenagers before they start dating to talk about what makes a successful relationship. It is very easy to think that your children will appreciate the ins and outs of dating but they probably won't. If you think about it, a lot of their information on the subject will probably have been gained from the television where most of the relationships are not intended to reflect the real world but simply to entertain the audience. Your children have to learn precisely what it means to be in a loving and supportive relationship and the best way to learn just what that means is to talk with you about your own views based upon personal experience. Having said this, it is also true that your children will learn not simply from what they hear from you, but from what they see and so setting a good example in the way that you conduct your own relationship is vital. Once your children start dating you will need to enter into what is going to be an ongoing dialogue about relationships. Your children's dates are not always going to turn out as they or your expect and they are going to need someone to come to when they run into difficulties. So, it is important that you keep the lines of communication open and also that you continue to talk about how they should be treating other people in a relationship as well as how they themselves should expect to be treated. Meeting your teenager's date for the first time can sometimes be a difficult time, but it is important to try and make this initial meeting as comfortable as you can and to be both kind to and respectful towards your teenager's date. And try not to make the classic mistake of giving the couple a lecture on this first meeting laying down the rules for going out with each other. Any rules that you decide to impose are for your teenager and not for his or her date and so ought to be discussed with your child alone and in private. Also, while it is possible that you will not be impressed with your teenager's choice of date, you should not let this show and should make a conscious effort to be supportive. Having taught your children how to conduct themselves in a relationship you have to trust them to take their own decisions and should not intervene unless you believe that the relationship is placing your teenager in harm's way. It is not always easy to watch your children growing up and getting close to new people. However, provided you do your part and teach them what to expect from and how to conduct themselves in a relationship, then there is a good chance that things will go well and problems will be few and far between for both of you.
Parenting4Dummies.com provides parenting tips on everything from the science of parenting to coping with teenage acne
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