DATING VIOLENCE: Tips for Parents-Teens, Part 1

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Is your teen one in three who will become a victim of dating violence?

Here are Ten Tips for Parents to talk with their teen about - you can empower your teen and here are some of the tools to help you.

Before I give you the first ten tips, there are some things you and your teen need to remember:

* You have the right to a healthy relationship. * You deserve better. Do not put up with abuse. * You are not alone. Teens from all backgrounds are in, have been in, or know someone in an abusive relationship. * You have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault that your partner abuses you. * The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more intense the violence will become. It does not get better over time. * Being drunk or high is not an excuse for abuse. * No one is justified in attacking you just because he or she is angry.

TIPS ON DATING VIOLENCE:

1. Abuse in a dating relationship can be confusing and frightening at any age. But for teenagers, who are just beginning to date and develop romantic relationships, this abuse is especially difficult.

2. Surveys show dating violence is not uncommon among teens. When the abuse is physical of any kind, it can be easy to identify. Emotional abuse is much harder to recognize, but no less damaging.

3. Dating violence can be tough to talk about honestly. It can be uncomfortable to bring up and embarrassing to acknowledge. But with dating violence a fact of life for many teen couples, we've got to break the silence.

4. Sometimes it's easier to explore thoughts and feelings using this kind of example than it is to talk about our own experiences.

A Typical Dating Violence Sceniro

Brenda is 15 and has never had a boyfriend before. She recently started dating Frank. She thinks he is so cute. Her friends all tell her how lucky she is because she has a boyfriend. At first, Brenda thought it was sweet that Frank began calling her all the time. He always wants to know whom she is with, where she is, and when she'll be home. He has told her that she was meant to be with him and him only, forever.

Recently, Frank has started belittling her in front of his friends, insulting her, and telling her she is fat. He doesn't want her to spend time with certain of her friends - he thinks they are a bad influence. He threatens to break up with her if she won't do what he says, and that no one else will ever want her. Brenda wants to make Frank happy. In fact, she'll do anything to keep her boyfriend. She thinks this is what being in a relationship is all about. Do you agree?

5. Relationship violence often starts as emotional or verbal abuse and can quickly escalate into any kind of physical violence. And although many teens know of at least one student who has been a victim of relationship violence, most parents either don't know it exists or don't know it is an issue.

6. Relationship Violence is a pattern of behavior used by someone to maintain control over his or her partner.

7. Relationship violence can take the form of verbal, any kind of physcial, or emotional abuse.

8. Relationship Violence is not about getting angry or having a disagreement.

9. In an abusive relationship one partner is afraid of and intimidated by the other.

10. How often does it happen?

24% of female homicide victims are between 15 and 24 years old. 70% of severe injuries and deaths occur when the victim is tryng to leave or has already left the relationship. Relationhsip violence is the number one cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44. 63% of boys ages 11-20 arrested for murder were arrested for murdering the man who was assualting their mother. 38% of date rape victims are young women between the ages of 14 and 17. 70% of pregnant teenagers are abused by their partners.

Be Safe & Empower Your Teen to Be Safe!

Linda "Eagle" Culbreth

Linda "Eagle" Culbreth is former teacher & school administrator, author, speaker and a suvivor of abuse at the hands of someone who was supposed to love and care for her. Please sign up for her free newsletter at www.eaglesport.biz